Many friendships fall prey to the ‘Holiday Curse’ best friends returning back from the airport in silence as mortal enemies.
Something thats supposed to be a fun time away becomes the most stressful few days re-contextualising your friendships for the future.
Back in 2019 I became somewhat of an avid traveller going on six different holidays with six different friend groups and I loved it but not all the time…
I realised a lot about myself and what I do/don’t like on holiday. I also learned that the people you love aren’t always the best traveling companions.
I compiled this list because all the issues I faced were avoidable and in hindsight not that deep but for some reason fights on holidays leads to lasting damage in friendships so let’s take a look at how we can avoid that.
“Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter.”
Izaak walton
Pick Your Holiday Companions Wisely!
Firstly I would just recommend before you even embark on any kind of holiday to choose your friends wisely.
Do you have mutual interests? Maybe they love night life and you like museums and walking around. You can get a feel for if someone likes lazying around on the beach or an adventure, exploring a city.
Not to say don’t go on holiday with them but bear in mind what people like to do because you might have to split and do your own thing which is fine but it can lead to resentment if you had expectations to do everything together.
I would suggest if you aren’t similar to your friends in that sense to plan activities to do as a group as well as split up time where you do your own things.
Talk About Money
Before I go on holiday I will sent a certain amount of money to my Monzo and that is the amount I’m spending with a little leeway. I communicate how much money I’m spending and will act accordingly. Some people have more money than others don’t be afraid to tell your friends if you aren’t rolling in it. Its not embarrassing at all and you avoid awkward moments if you say early on. It might be that you do alternative things to your friends or they compromise and do things that are more affordable.
If you have more money than your friend don’t resent them for not being able to match what you want to do. If it’s something you desperately want to do you can subsidise or do it alone with no issues.
Plan and Book as Much as Possible as Early as Possible
I’m terrible for this one. Ideally you want to have your accommodations and flights booked months in advance. So all there is to think about is the activities you want to do. Have a group conversation about what types of things you want to do and prioritise the things that are the most popular amongst you. Book the activities if you can in advance its more cost effective most of the time and leaves less work when you get to your destination.
Be Helpful
When you’re on holiday its work too. Navigating new areas, finding where you are going to eat. One person should never be doing all the work. If one person is looking for where to eat the next person should be looking for how to get there. The next person should be looking for how to get to the next place. Take ownership of the trip too so your friends aren’t doing all the work.
Be More Flexible on Holiday
While I say set expectations you also need to realise that when you are going in a group not everyone will agree on everything. So be willing to not get everything you want and don’t become resentful over it. Get with the program you are here for a good time not a long time so don’t waste a second pining over what wasn’t and be present with your friends.
Stay Snacked Up
I found that I became hungry way quicker on holiday than I ever did at home. I’m no doctor but I would chalk it up to the fact I was in a different climate, walking around a lot more and maybe the residual stress from travelling. Unless you already know where you are eating breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday it can take a minute for the group to co-ordinate and when you don’t have a go to spot like back home it can get tedious quickly. I recommend having snacks on you if you are the type to get hangry.
Take a Breath
I noticed that I have travel anxiety when it comes to the airport. I don’t like loitering or waiting around. As soon as the gate is announced I will leave with or without the mandem. I’m not missing my flight for anyone but I tend to be a bit of a taskmaster at the airport which is something I’m working on. I can come across as angry and irritated if someone isn’t matching my pace. Not everyone is you so try to accommodate each other as long as its not compromising you too much.
Traveling to new destinations and discovering new cultures is exciting but its also subconsciously something that can be stressful and give you anxiety despite being a time for relaxation. New environments, not knowing a language, difficult navigation etc leaves us vulnerable and that manifests itself in different ways which we can also project onto our friends unknowingly.
Going on holiday is being in the moment, being spontaneous and leaves little room for being super reflective of situations in the moment. So be mindful.
So here it is; a quick guide on how to avoid beefing your friends on holiday!
Happy Travelling. Bye Now x